Born into this. - Bukowski

Sunday, July 05, 2009

I guess I'm the Anti-Fun.

You have a contrasting personality. A highly attractive personality and the need to be in the limelight but yet are not overly social and the need to spend time alone. You have perfectionist tendencies which show in every area of your life. You have extremely high standards for yourself and those around you. Sometimes your need for perfection can lead you to become obsessive compulsive. You are an over achiever due to your insecurities and viewed as highly successful. You have an intense personality capable of great achievements but are very indecisive and can take years to make a decision. You are emotionally complex, a cool exterior that masks your inner turmoil. You have a biting sense of humor and wry wit that you express in irony and sarcasm. You are sexually intense but have a hard time sharing your feelings at a deep level. Strengths: Attractive – Exacting – Cool Weaknesses: Indecisive – Scathing – Repressed

It is almost thrilling how those stupid astrology quizzes can be spot on. This one makes me sound like a complete freak. And I would've done well for myself during the Victorian Age. Although Foucault would argue that they were not actually repressed - yes, that is one of the facts that stuck with me from my Intro to Gender Studies, spring semester senior year.
I think I make a pretty accurate assessment of myself when I say that my first impression on people is often one of intimidation. Not on purpose. It's obviously the "cool exterior that masks my inner turmoil." Some have even found me threatening. Menacing. Which is fine on the start line, not so great in life. A guy I met recently called me cute. Cute? I don't think I've ever been cute. I have looked "cute," said "cute" things. But I've never had "cute" as my center.
I don't mind being a bit of a hard hitter. Half-ass is not in my vocabulary. Although I accept that things are not always black and white (because... well... I could make a racial joke about myself here but I won't. Wait - did I?), however, over the years I have built boundaries in which I play and yes, I covet my Me Time like I hoard quarters for laundry.
While the accuracy is disconcertingly astounding, I'd like to think that I'm a bit less tormented and a bit more fun than this astrology summary makes me out to be. Summaries do gloss over the details after all.